WHAT PARENTS OWE THEIR CHILDREN

Ephesians 6: 1- 4

Introduction:

1.      Note these passages:

a.       Psalms 127

b.      Proverbs 29:15  The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

c.       Proverbs 6:20 - 21 My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck.

2.      Within these truisms, the substances promised the child must come from the parent. None of these things is temporal! As parents, we must not “spoil the child” with flatteries and frivolities, but must raise the child to respect, honor and obey God! Without that diligence, the child has no possibility of becoming the best he/she can become: A CHRISTIAN!

3.      While many believe they have accomplished the requirement of “raising the child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” by giving the child a Bible, in future years they are seemingly astounded when that child has no more knowledge of its content than when first presented with that Bible! What these children missed was among their greatest needs: EXAMPLE! We need to examine WHAT PARENTS OWE THEIR CHILDREN and children need to realize their responsibility in accepting these valuable blessings. Every aspect of the parent/child relationship has challenges. Often, these challenges (i.e. “temptations”) present themselves, as “justifiable excuses” to alter the greater example required of our children. The adage, “Practice what you preach” is required of every Christian – and increasingly more so for the Christian who raises their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord!

I.        PARENTS OWE THEIR CHILDREN RULES OF CONDUCT, BUT RULES THEY AND WILL OBEY!

A.       Follow the example of Jesus’ commands!

1.    Matt. 11:28 – 30

2.    1John 5:3  For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.

3.    1 Peter 2:21 – 23 -- For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

4.    Children accept the CONDUCT OF THE PARENT as a “rule to follow.” Make sure the EXAMPLE matches the RULE OF GOD!

B.        If the “golden rule” applies to YOU (parent) make sure it applies to the child!

1.    Matt. 7:12

2.    If you (parent) wish your child to be honest and forthright with you, then be honest and forthright with your child! If you desire the best from your child (in behavior) then you must give your best to the child!

 

II.     PARENTS OWE THEIR CHILDREN CORRECTION: BUT WITH KINDNESS

A.       Proverbs 3:1 – 12; Hebrews 12:1 – 11

B.        2 Timothy 3:16 – 17 -- All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

1.    The scriptures teach us what to do (doctrine)

2.    The scriptures teach us what NOT to do (reproof)

3.    The scriptures teach us how to be right (correction)

4.    The scriptures teach us how to stay right (instruction in righteous)

C.       Jeremiah 10:23 – 24 -- O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. O LORD, correct me, but with judgment; not in thine anger, lest thou bring me to nothing.

D.       Parents are to correct; not to punish, their children. Those who punish them do it from a principle of revenge; those who correct them do it from a principle of affectionate concern.

 

 

III.   PARENTS OWE THEIR CHILDREN LOVE: BUT WITH FIRMNESS

A.       Just as we read from Hebrews 12: 1- 11, “He chastens whom He loves,” we read as well it is for our PROFIT. PARENTS OWE THEIR CHILDREN THAT EXAMPLE!

1.    Anger promotes discouragement (Colossians 3:21, Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.)

2.    Ephesians 4:26 -- Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

B.        Yet, the parent must not “coddle” the child to the point of excusing wrongful behavior!

1.    The child should love the parent because it is right to do so; not because he/she is frightened too frightened NOT to love! Likewise the parent must love the child because it is the right thing to do; not because the parent is afraid NOT to love!

2.    John 15: 12 -- This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

 

IV.   PARENTS OWE THEIR CHILDREN PROPER REARING: INCLUDING ALL THE ABOVE IN PROPER FASHION

A.       Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

1.    Old” carries the idea of “mature”. Maturity begins in YOUTH … and must grow as surely as the child’s body!

2.    This is a “truism,” and not an “absolute guarantee.” No parent can save the soul of their child: that responsibility is left to the child only! YET, THE RAISING OF THAT CHILD TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE PARENT!!

B.        Proper rearing is NOT limited to a secular environment of school or home or work. It requires the most important element: THE TRAINING OF THE MIND IN GODLINESS!

 

V.     PARENTS OWE THEIR CHILDREN THE NURTURE AND ADMONITION OF THE LORD

A.       Nurture

1.    (Strong) -- tutorage, that is, education or training; by implication disciplinary correction: - chastening, chastisement, instruction, nurture.

2.    Nurture has to do with convolution: “a form that is shaped by curves, rough ridges or torturous windings.” The meaning is, “It might not be the easiest road to follow: BUT FOR SALVATION OF THE SOUL, IT IS THE ONLY ROAD!

3.    Just so, for the parent to SAY AND DO NOT (example) regarding faithful assembling, faithful participation within the worship (singing, praying, studying, reverence at communion, generosity at giving, etc.) is NOT showing the child a LOVING, DISCIPLINED REARING by which that child will KNOW THE IMPORTANCE of God and His Word!

B.        Admonition

1.    (Strong) -- calling attention to, that is, (by implication) mild rebuke or warning: - admonition.

2.    Chad Kerns = “Ammunition of the Lord”

3.    The use of God’s Word has its greatest effect with it is both SEEN and HEARD! When children SEE the parent reading the Bible, and SEE the parents putting Christ and His church first in their lives, the child respects what they HEAR.

C.       Of the Lord

1.    No other rule book merits inclusion in the raising of children! It is His Word that shall judge us all; and His word by which all must live!

2.    Colossians 3:17 – Can this passage permit ANYTHING interfering with the SETTING FORTH OF RIGHTEOUS EXAMPLE?

 

CONCLUSION:

            What parents owe their children is NOT material items. Such things may ease a bit this world’s suffering, but they do absolutely NOTHING to help them in gaining the most important of all things: ETERNAL LIFE. The emphasis MUST be upon spiritual things! (Rom. 8:6) What example have we parents given our children?